1:1s
The recurring meeting that does the most work in Managing — and the one most likely to quietly turn into a status update if nobody protects it.
The structure below follows Mark Horstman's O3 model from The Effective Manager — one of the few management frameworks built to be followed almost word for word rather than adapted on the fly.
The Structure
Thirty minutes, split three ways, in this order. Reversing the order is the single most common way a 1:1 stops being one.
Their priorities first — the direct sets the agenda, not the manager. Whatever's on their mind, in whatever order they bring it.
Your items second — a short, prepared list, not a running status check. If it's urgent enough to need more time than this, it's not a 1:1 topic.
Coaching last — forward-looking, not a recap. What's the one thing worth stretching toward before next week.
The Cadence
What erodes it
Cancelling when things get busy — which is exactly when a direct report needs it most. A 1:1 that moves every other week stops being trusted as a fixed point.
What protects it
Same day, same time, every week, treated with the same priority as a meeting with your own manager. If it has to move, reschedule it — don't just drop it.
Feedback In the Moment
Doesn't wait for the 1:1 or the Performance Review — a short, repeatable script for the moment it actually happens.
Ask permission — "Can I give you some feedback?" Takes two seconds and changes how the next part lands.
Describe the behavior — specific and observable, not a character judgment. What they did, not who they are.
State the impact — what actually happened as a result, so it's clear why it matters.
Ask for future behavior — "What do you think you'd do differently next time?" Lands as coaching, not a verdict.
Questions to Ask
Starting points for a slow week, not a script to read verbatim — the direct's own agenda always comes first.
Opening it up
- "What's top of mind for you this week?"
- "What's going well that we should do more of?"
- "What's getting in your way right now?"
Getting past the surface — Julie Zhuo's structure, from The Making of a Manager
- "What's the actual root cause of what's making that hard?"
- "What would the ideal outcome here look like?"
- "What can I do to help?"
Worth asking less often — monthly, not every week
- "How are you feeling about where you're headed here?"
- "What's one thing you want to get better at over the next few months?"
- "Is there anything you need from me or the team that you're not getting?"
If you're setting the first two-thirds of the agenda, it's a status meeting wearing a 1:1's name. The fix isn't a better template — it's asking "what's on your mind?" and actually waiting.
Try It
Paste this into ChatGPT, Claude, or whatever AI tool you use: